Today marks 30 weeks, and I have a hard time believing it. The kid is so fun these days, moving around in all different ways. Some of them are uncomfortable as he gets stronger, and the hip pain when he hits the wrong spot is definitely the least pleasant part. But it’s pretty miraculous, and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of feeling him move.
We toured the maternity ward of the hospital this weekend, and although I was kind of overwhelmed, it all seems good and I definitely feel reassured that almost all of their policies are ideal for what we want. I’m still trying to figure out whether it’s realistic to have my mom there when I give birth, and also whether there’s a way to make that happen without hurting my mother-in-law’s feelings. We still need to find a pediatrician and get a will written, but I’m feeling on top of those projects.
The baby shower is rolling along, and will be in a few weeks. I’m nervous for that – I’ve never had a shower before, and I’ve only been to one bridal shower in my whole life. Never a baby shower. But I’m trying to ignore the fear and just be happy about getting to celebrate with our family and friends. If anyone has been to a baby shower and has an idea about a good favor, that part is totally up in the air right now. Ideas would be much appreciated!
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned the apple thing here before, but the kid seems to have a definite reaction whenever I eat apples. He goes crazy moving every which way. I’ve never been able to figure out whether that means he loves apples or hates apples. But it’s clearly a strong reaction. It only recently occurred to me that at some point he’ll start eating solid food and we can test out what he thinks of apples. I’m really looking forward to that! And it’s hilarious, because for Passover I made some charoset (which mostly consists of chopped up apples). I don’t think of it as “apple” because it’s all mixed up with other flavors, but half an hour after I ate a whole bunch of it the kid went nuts and it took me a little while to figure out why he was SO energetic : ) It’s one of the few things about his “personality” that we’ve already gotten to see, and I love it.
Showing posts with label happy-moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy-moments. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Notes
Just some notes so I can remember this period in my life:
Trying to be productive but not psycho so that the baby can have a PhD-wielding mommy but limited intrauterine adrenaline. It's looking like my thesis defense will be a videoconference!
Headed to the Pacific Northwest for 2 weeks (work and vacation). Nervous about comfort while traveling, but hoping it's a good time.
We got life insurance, which makes me insanely happy, but I'm still worried about the guardianship decision.
Had dinner with the couple we'll be sharing a nanny with. Nervous, but kind of psyched too.
Totally overwhelmed by the registry process, but feeling like I have a better handle on it. Just keep reminding myself that we can buy anything we need later. There's nothing that we will ever need that we can't afford to buy the kid ourselves.
Trying to figure out whether I can handle paying $1000 for a glider. Our mattress is the only piece of furniture we've ever spent that much on (or even close to that much) and I was pretty sure I was going to use the mattress forever. On the one hand it's pretty, comfy, and everyone says it's something worth spending money on. On the other hand, I can't figure out if it's in line with my values to spend $1000 on a chair when I could use that money to pay for college or travel. Or retirement.
Still can't handle vegetables at all. This is by far the most painful GI situation I've ever had.
Have been having trouble sleeping well for the first time since my husband started using breathe right strips. I may need to add a third pillow to my system.
The kid has been kicking a lot in the last few days. He never kicks hard when my husband is trying to feel him, but it's really fun being reminded that I have a companion in everything I do. Especially when I'm up at 4am.
I'm worried about being out of shape, since I've been feeling mediocre, the weather has been very cold, I've had terrible round ligament pain, and I feel like I'm supposed to be working all the time. Sometimes when I lie on my side my heart feels funny - like it's beating too hard. I worry about blood pressure, but it's usually in a fine range when I go to the doctor. Trying to figure out whether it's worth the money to join the gym for the pool just until our apartment's pool opens in May. I'm leaning towards yes. Walking sucks right now because of the round ligament pain, and I can't stand feeling so fragile.
Overall I'm pretty happy. We are so, so blessed.
Trying to be productive but not psycho so that the baby can have a PhD-wielding mommy but limited intrauterine adrenaline. It's looking like my thesis defense will be a videoconference!
Headed to the Pacific Northwest for 2 weeks (work and vacation). Nervous about comfort while traveling, but hoping it's a good time.
We got life insurance, which makes me insanely happy, but I'm still worried about the guardianship decision.
Had dinner with the couple we'll be sharing a nanny with. Nervous, but kind of psyched too.
Totally overwhelmed by the registry process, but feeling like I have a better handle on it. Just keep reminding myself that we can buy anything we need later. There's nothing that we will ever need that we can't afford to buy the kid ourselves.
Trying to figure out whether I can handle paying $1000 for a glider. Our mattress is the only piece of furniture we've ever spent that much on (or even close to that much) and I was pretty sure I was going to use the mattress forever. On the one hand it's pretty, comfy, and everyone says it's something worth spending money on. On the other hand, I can't figure out if it's in line with my values to spend $1000 on a chair when I could use that money to pay for college or travel. Or retirement.
Still can't handle vegetables at all. This is by far the most painful GI situation I've ever had.
Have been having trouble sleeping well for the first time since my husband started using breathe right strips. I may need to add a third pillow to my system.
The kid has been kicking a lot in the last few days. He never kicks hard when my husband is trying to feel him, but it's really fun being reminded that I have a companion in everything I do. Especially when I'm up at 4am.
I'm worried about being out of shape, since I've been feeling mediocre, the weather has been very cold, I've had terrible round ligament pain, and I feel like I'm supposed to be working all the time. Sometimes when I lie on my side my heart feels funny - like it's beating too hard. I worry about blood pressure, but it's usually in a fine range when I go to the doctor. Trying to figure out whether it's worth the money to join the gym for the pool just until our apartment's pool opens in May. I'm leaning towards yes. Walking sucks right now because of the round ligament pain, and I can't stand feeling so fragile.
Overall I'm pretty happy. We are so, so blessed.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
It's (going to be) a boy!
Isn't he cute?
Also, he's awesome because he refused (like the contrary kid I know he is) to get in the right position for them to do one of the heart flow measurements. No need to be worried about it, but for completeness they want to do that when we go back next. So we get another ultrasound! Yay! Go kid!
Naming ideas have begun in earnest now, and we have a short list, but I wonder how we'll choose among the top 3-4.
I can't wait to meet him. But I really need him to stay inside for another 18 weeks so that he can be healthy and strong, and so I can get all my work done before he arrives!
Also, he's awesome because he refused (like the contrary kid I know he is) to get in the right position for them to do one of the heart flow measurements. No need to be worried about it, but for completeness they want to do that when we go back next. So we get another ultrasound! Yay! Go kid!
Naming ideas have begun in earnest now, and we have a short list, but I wonder how we'll choose among the top 3-4.
I can't wait to meet him. But I really need him to stay inside for another 18 weeks so that he can be healthy and strong, and so I can get all my work done before he arrives!
My kid can kick
Several things:
He's getting stronger and stronger, which is really fun. Although it makes his kicking more distracting (like when I'm sleeping). I can't wait until my husband can feel it too.
We got life insurance! Yay! Now we can be confident that the guardians we chose will be able to take our kid in the unlikely event that something happens to us. This makes me much less anxious that our kid will somehow (through an absurd worst-case scenario) end up going to my sister-in-law and the evil guy she married.
I am extremely relieved that my husband and I are on the same page about keeping said evil relative away from our kid. The plan so far is that the kid spends no time with them away from us, and that although we won't avoid group family events, if the evil guy tries to spend time with our son one of us will always chaperone at all times. And we'll see if that can be avoided completely, because even if I'm there, there are certain things you can't will your child to unhear.
Work is going well, but I'm super time crunched. Trying to remain stress-free and focus on the fact that the baby needs me to be sane and won't care if my PhD got finished 6 months before his birth or 6 weeks before his birth. Trying to split the difference now.
I've been feeling mostly good, but round ligament pain seems to be really bad in the last few weeks. If I walk too fast or too much it becomes almost unbearable.
We need to register, which I hate. It was my least favorite thing about planning my wedding. But we've gotten some great advice from friends, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to just get it done and not worry too much. Hopefully lots of gift cards so we can buy the rest of what we need once we figure out what he likes and what would be handy.
Wow. I sound really happy. Which is awesome because I've been so overwhelmed with work this week as to be incapacitated. I can't imagine how it's all going to get done, so I just don't. But if I spend the next hour working, I'll feel a thousand times better, so here goes : )
He's getting stronger and stronger, which is really fun. Although it makes his kicking more distracting (like when I'm sleeping). I can't wait until my husband can feel it too.
We got life insurance! Yay! Now we can be confident that the guardians we chose will be able to take our kid in the unlikely event that something happens to us. This makes me much less anxious that our kid will somehow (through an absurd worst-case scenario) end up going to my sister-in-law and the evil guy she married.
I am extremely relieved that my husband and I are on the same page about keeping said evil relative away from our kid. The plan so far is that the kid spends no time with them away from us, and that although we won't avoid group family events, if the evil guy tries to spend time with our son one of us will always chaperone at all times. And we'll see if that can be avoided completely, because even if I'm there, there are certain things you can't will your child to unhear.
Work is going well, but I'm super time crunched. Trying to remain stress-free and focus on the fact that the baby needs me to be sane and won't care if my PhD got finished 6 months before his birth or 6 weeks before his birth. Trying to split the difference now.
I've been feeling mostly good, but round ligament pain seems to be really bad in the last few weeks. If I walk too fast or too much it becomes almost unbearable.
We need to register, which I hate. It was my least favorite thing about planning my wedding. But we've gotten some great advice from friends, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to just get it done and not worry too much. Hopefully lots of gift cards so we can buy the rest of what we need once we figure out what he likes and what would be handy.
Wow. I sound really happy. Which is awesome because I've been so overwhelmed with work this week as to be incapacitated. I can't imagine how it's all going to get done, so I just don't. But if I spend the next hour working, I'll feel a thousand times better, so here goes : )
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Bellybutton
I've been feeling not-great about my appearance recently, since I think the 15-18 week period has been right in the "pregnant or fat?" grey area for me. I was already on the heavy side when I got pregnant thanks to the clomid and the misery of previous cycles, but gaining weight on top of that has been a little rough since I know in the early stages it's me and not the kid who's filling out. So I've been feeling a little down recently. Nothing bad, but I can't wait until the kid grows a little more so I can pass the grey area and be obviously pregnant. I'm going to be so cute with a serious bump!
Today I was sitting writing and I went to scratch my belly button. And lo and behold, it's not as deep as it used to be! I can't explain why that seems like such a great sign, but there's just something about it that clearly means "not fat." Hopefully the smile it induces will last me through the next few weeks until I really pop. I'm so excited for this baby that I'm really looking forward to anyone who looks at me being able to tell. Obviously I also dread the unsolicited touching that will go along with it, but I'm still really looking forward to that stage.
While I'm confessing to body image issues, it's worth pointing out that I haven't taken a belly pic yet. This is my public inducement to do so, since the "after" will be so much more dramatic if I take the "before" shot before the 20 week mark. I shudder to think about how I'll feel looking at it now, but the point is that someday I'll be glad I have a record of this period. So yell at me, ok? If I'm going to do it, I should really start now.
Today I was sitting writing and I went to scratch my belly button. And lo and behold, it's not as deep as it used to be! I can't explain why that seems like such a great sign, but there's just something about it that clearly means "not fat." Hopefully the smile it induces will last me through the next few weeks until I really pop. I'm so excited for this baby that I'm really looking forward to anyone who looks at me being able to tell. Obviously I also dread the unsolicited touching that will go along with it, but I'm still really looking forward to that stage.
While I'm confessing to body image issues, it's worth pointing out that I haven't taken a belly pic yet. This is my public inducement to do so, since the "after" will be so much more dramatic if I take the "before" shot before the 20 week mark. I shudder to think about how I'll feel looking at it now, but the point is that someday I'll be glad I have a record of this period. So yell at me, ok? If I'm going to do it, I should really start now.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Happiness
Sorry for being absent. I started my postdoc last week, and have been overwhelmed with trying to handle all my old projects and the new ones as well. I'm getting the balancing act readjusted so that I can do a good job of hydrating and eating well in a new lab situation. (Since I can't eat or drink in the lab, it takes effort to plan out how and where I can eat when I need to.)
We had an ultrasound on Friday, which was super fun. I was really nervous beforehand, even though we had heard the heartbeat a week earlier. Mostly I was nervous for the nuchal translucency test. Not because there's any elevated risk (I'm 28), but because I don't believe in taking tests when you haven't thought about what to do with that information, and I was so heartsick at the idea that we would choose to end the pregnancy if trisomy 18 were diagnosed. Waiting for almost an hour in the waiting room was particularly anxiety-provoking, because you have to have a full bladder, and that feeling definitely exacerbates the normal nervousness. But once we got in there, I was overwhelmed with joy looking at the kid. He or she looks so much more like a person! I mean, still like a space alien, but so much more like a baby : ) I'm in love. The most amazing part was as the ultrasound tech poked to try to get him/her to move into the right position for the NTT measurement, and we could watch him/her move. Completely breathtaking. My baby can move! Originally he/she had been in a typical fetal position, but as the poking went on, he/she moved the arms above the head like he/she was trying to fend off the pokes. We never managed to get the kid to straighten its neck and get the perfect measurement, but they sent us home with assurances that the "almost right" measurements they got showed no cause for concern. In the end, I was glad the kid was so contrary, because it meant we got to keep watching for what felt like hours : ) And it's definitely our kid - refused to cooperate for picture-taking (my husband to a T), and extremely contrary (totally me). Lying on my left side, emptying my bladder, none of it had any effect on getting the kid to get in the right position even for a moment. I could watch all day. It's amazing how much closer the kid feels when we can see it. The still photos don't do it justice, but are still kind of fun.
Yesterday a friend and I went shopping for maternity clothes. I was so happy that she was willing to go with me. I have to remind myself that people are all different, because I hate shopping, and doing this with me would be my idea of torture. But luckily she likes shopping and was totally into it. It made it way more fun for me to, although I wouldn't say I loved it or anything. I've been feeling pretty insecure, since all the weight I've gained during our struggle to get pregnant makes me embarrassed. I hate how I look in recent photos (pre-pregnancy). Since I got pregnant, I've actually lost a couple of pounds, but it has also redistributed. Nothing else seems smaller to me, but my belly is definitely bigger. I'm just not confident enough yet about it since I know it's almost all me, and not the kid. But at one of the stores we went to, they had a belly pillow in the dressing room, so I tried it on to see how the tops would look in several months. I'm kind of in love with that image, too. I've never been particularly belly-obsessed. My infertility nightmares were all about the fact of pregnancy that is behind the belly, but not the belly itself. So I am surprised and delighted that I'm so excited and not insecure about a big belly. I want it as soon as possible, so I can stop taking offense that I look pregnant when all the weight is my own. The 3.5 inch kid is not contributing that much, so I can't wait until he or she is. I really want to look pregnant. Even though my rational part knows it's better for my career if I look less pregnant for longer.
In all, it's been a great week. I have to work all day today, so I need to get my butt in gear and get it done. But I just wanted to share that I'm feeling happy and content. And now I have some more clothes to wear that fit, so that makes the prospect of the coming week more appealing. This shopping stuff may not be so bad after all : )
We had an ultrasound on Friday, which was super fun. I was really nervous beforehand, even though we had heard the heartbeat a week earlier. Mostly I was nervous for the nuchal translucency test. Not because there's any elevated risk (I'm 28), but because I don't believe in taking tests when you haven't thought about what to do with that information, and I was so heartsick at the idea that we would choose to end the pregnancy if trisomy 18 were diagnosed. Waiting for almost an hour in the waiting room was particularly anxiety-provoking, because you have to have a full bladder, and that feeling definitely exacerbates the normal nervousness. But once we got in there, I was overwhelmed with joy looking at the kid. He or she looks so much more like a person! I mean, still like a space alien, but so much more like a baby : ) I'm in love. The most amazing part was as the ultrasound tech poked to try to get him/her to move into the right position for the NTT measurement, and we could watch him/her move. Completely breathtaking. My baby can move! Originally he/she had been in a typical fetal position, but as the poking went on, he/she moved the arms above the head like he/she was trying to fend off the pokes. We never managed to get the kid to straighten its neck and get the perfect measurement, but they sent us home with assurances that the "almost right" measurements they got showed no cause for concern. In the end, I was glad the kid was so contrary, because it meant we got to keep watching for what felt like hours : ) And it's definitely our kid - refused to cooperate for picture-taking (my husband to a T), and extremely contrary (totally me). Lying on my left side, emptying my bladder, none of it had any effect on getting the kid to get in the right position even for a moment. I could watch all day. It's amazing how much closer the kid feels when we can see it. The still photos don't do it justice, but are still kind of fun.
Yesterday a friend and I went shopping for maternity clothes. I was so happy that she was willing to go with me. I have to remind myself that people are all different, because I hate shopping, and doing this with me would be my idea of torture. But luckily she likes shopping and was totally into it. It made it way more fun for me to, although I wouldn't say I loved it or anything. I've been feeling pretty insecure, since all the weight I've gained during our struggle to get pregnant makes me embarrassed. I hate how I look in recent photos (pre-pregnancy). Since I got pregnant, I've actually lost a couple of pounds, but it has also redistributed. Nothing else seems smaller to me, but my belly is definitely bigger. I'm just not confident enough yet about it since I know it's almost all me, and not the kid. But at one of the stores we went to, they had a belly pillow in the dressing room, so I tried it on to see how the tops would look in several months. I'm kind of in love with that image, too. I've never been particularly belly-obsessed. My infertility nightmares were all about the fact of pregnancy that is behind the belly, but not the belly itself. So I am surprised and delighted that I'm so excited and not insecure about a big belly. I want it as soon as possible, so I can stop taking offense that I look pregnant when all the weight is my own. The 3.5 inch kid is not contributing that much, so I can't wait until he or she is. I really want to look pregnant. Even though my rational part knows it's better for my career if I look less pregnant for longer.
In all, it's been a great week. I have to work all day today, so I need to get my butt in gear and get it done. But I just wanted to share that I'm feeling happy and content. And now I have some more clothes to wear that fit, so that makes the prospect of the coming week more appealing. This shopping stuff may not be so bad after all : )
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